The “You’ve Gotta Earn It” Mindset
Last week at work, I had a performance review with my manager and one of the areas that we discussed in regards to my overall performance was my work ethic. On one side, my manager praised me for my work ethic. The time and effort I put into relationship building with units and figuring out the best way for us to work together to help their formations. The attention to detail I put in making sure every single thing is checked and prepped before and during a training event. This all sounds like a win, but the praise from my manager also came with a but. There is always a but. My work ethic is a double edged sword. While it is an area of strength for me and my performance, it is also an area of improvement. Because my work ethic is so strong, it creates an unhealthy work-life balance. I am the type of person who struggles to turn off at the end of the day. If I get a call from someone after the proverbial 5 o’clock bell has rung, I am answering it and giving them my full attention. There will be times where you will find me prepping notes and emails late into the night and early in the morning. My work-life balance for the better part of a few years looked like a teeter-totter with only one kid sitting on the work-side.
I was not shocked by the feedback my manager was giving me. It is something that I have been aware of and have discussed at length with my extremely patient wife, Sophia. However, the fact remains that the feedback was pointing to a true and important fact, something needs to change. As I have sat down to understand what is driving my work ethic, I started exploring my beliefs about success, ownership, and effort. As I’ve grown up, I have had to swallow the very hard pill that I am not a “natural talent” or very good at most things. In order to succeed in areas of my life, I’ve had to put in extreme amounts of work to measure up to others. During my reflections of my beliefs, one kept circling around in my mind: nothing in life comes for free and there are no handouts when it comes to success. Without time and effort, there can be no forward progress. This may be too black and white for some, but in my mind it seems like the only way because that’s how I’ve had to live my life.
The belief that nothing in life comes for free was just one of many values and beliefs that I discovered during my reflections, but they started to form this central theme for me. In my life, I have adapted a certain mindset that has driven me to be tenacious in my work ethic in my personal and professional life. I call it the “you’ve gotta earn it” mindset. You want to be successful? Good, but you’ve gotta earn the right to be successful first. You want to get bigger, stronger, faster? Excellent—now get your ass to work because you’ve gotta earn what you want. You want to drink a beer tonight? Alright, but you’ve gotta earn that beer. What are you willing to do to earn it? How much are you willing to sacrifice to earn what you’re striving for? No one is waiting for you to show up and do the work. No one is holding your hand for you to study for the test or write the paper. It is you vs you. If you want it, you gotta earn it. You. No one else.
During my performance review, I told my manager I was aware of the downfalls of my work ethic, and that I was actively trying to better my work-life balance and sharing the load with my team; but my work ethic will not change. Having the “you’ve gotta earn it” mindset can be an amazing blessing in life, but it needs to come with a healthy knowledge of your limits and boundaries in life. Simply put, this means that you need to know when it is a good idea to put in the work and when it is the right time to either take a knee and say no to certain things in order to stick to healthy boundaries or ask for help to share the load. This doesn’t mean you are skirting your responsibilities. It means you are strong and aware enough to understand your limitations and to trust others to have your back when you need it. Funny thing about trust? You’ve gotta earn it from others. One of the best ways to do that is to ask someone to help you out and to show that you trust them to assist you.
The way that I stay always in pursuit is by living my life with the “you’ve gotta earn it” mindset. It keeps me pushing forward by reminding myself that the things I want to accomplish in life aren’t just going to fall in my lap. I need to get up and get working to achieve them and earn them. This is how I live my life on the offense.
I hope you all have a great week!
--Daren