No Time Like the Present to Discover Your Purpose
It was a hot and sweaty summer day in the second floor conference room at the 2nd Calvary Regiment Headquarters building. Senior leaders from across the regiment were sitting around a large wooden table discussing the latest things occurring within the formation while surrounded by community and regiment assets and resources. These meetings had a way of running long, and most people placed bets on how long it would be today (rumor has it, if it hit 2+ plus hours the Regimental Command Sergeant Major, or RCSM for short, at the time would give you a Coke from his personal stash). I’d sat in this meeting countless times to present what different types of resilience and mental skills training I thought would fit best based on the trends we were seeing across the formation. This particular afternoon sticks out in my head because as I briefed the leaders about a team building and culture development workshop the RCSM’s ears perked up and turned his full attention to me. He was hooked and wanted all the information I could give him about the workshop. He pulled me aside at the end of the meeting and said he wanted to know more, and that he would reach out to set up a time to talk. For those of you in the military you know what a big deal it is to be singled out by the most senior enlisted advisor for an entire regiment (brigade); for those of you not closely familiar with the military, it’s a pretty big deal.
Regimental Command Sergeant Major Mike Burke and I had known each other for a while before this meeting, but it was at this moment that our friendship really took root. For the next 6 months or so we spent hours upon hours discussing how culture, passion, purpose, and emotional intelligence can be operationalized and applied to Soldiers and Leaders in a training event. While these topics are not alien to a military population, they are a bit out there. Mike and I were feverish with excitement about the plan of action we had come up with. We knew it had the potential to have a huge impact, but, and there is always a but; we had to stop and ask ourselves a question. Are we crazy? Is anyone going to get it?
When we had created a skeleton of the schedule Mike had presented to his colleagues and subordinates and it was met with mixed reviews. A few hard chargers in the room wanted the event to be more focused on military tactics, and regulations. Fair points, but those were topics for a different day. Mike and I met again to re-examine our plan and we pulled in another person into the room as we walked through the plan. As we finished explaining the big picture and rationale and how each day of the training was built with a particular intent our outside observer sat back in his chair with a pondering look on his face. He took a minute, and when he responded he said, “I’m not sure if it’s going to work, but if nothing else you’ll have better people.” Perfect. That’s what we needed to hear. In James Kerr’s book, Legacy, chronicling how and why the New Zealand All Blacks have been successful and what we can learn from them, one of the main messages of the book is that “better people make better All Blacks.” Mike and I were of the same mindset. Better people will make better leaders, better leaders will make better Soldiers, and better Soldiers will make a better Army.
One of the main focuses for this training event has been helping the leaders that attend the event discover and explore their purpose, or as Simon Sinek calls it, their why. Once they had started to work on their own, we then had them help a random Soldier to explore their own why. It was a powerful experience to witness. Most people who were a part of the day had stated they had never stopped to think about their purpose, or at least, never in a deliberate way to put pen to paper.
It’s a new year, and many people are setting resolutions and attempting to turn over a new leaf. New Year, new me, right? That’s great, I love seeing people trying to better themselves. But it’s a vicious cycle that happens every year. New Year, new resolutions and goals, a week or two go by, and then old habits kick back in, and resolutions and goals go unmet. But, what if we could change the narrative? What if we could add in some sort of jet fuel to the equation to boost the drive forward for a more long term behavior change?
That’s where purpose comes in. Our why for doing what we do. Why do you get up in the morning? Why do you do the work that you do? What is it that drives you? Who are you, what makes up your identity? Why do you exist? These are not earth shattering questions, but when given deliberate time and thought the answers can create for us a powerful core from which all our behavior can be driven.
Why do I wake up every morning and do what I do? To help people, whether it be my family, my friends, or some random person on the street I’ve never met, I was made to help. In everything that I do, I am doing it to help the next person. This is my passion. My drive. When I help people it gives me a sense of meaning in my life and a strong connection to those around me. It fuels my fire to better myself and keep myself mentally and physically fit to better help the next person who needs my help.
Take some time this week to answer these questions. Even if you have done this before, take another look at it. Discovering our purpose and why is not a one and done experience. It is an on-going journey of self-discovery and self-betterment. Let yourself sit and think, don’t rush the process to try to come to some great epiphany. Once you answer these questions, then figure out how your purpose, your why, can help to drive your behaviors at work, with your family, and in your own personal hobbies and interests.
New year, new you, so take the time to start the new on a solid investment into your personal growth and development. This is how we remain always in pursuit of the best version of ourselves. This is how we are able to continue to live our lives on the offense. By discovering the core foundation of ourselves, and how we can best leverage it to be great (much like Iron-Man and the arc reactor).
Take care,
~Daren