Managing a Heavy Heart
One of the peculiar things about the military is the ability to make light of the most dire of situations. I have been in life-threatening circumstances that were scary at the moment but turned into a good joke after we came away unscathed. While humor is an excellent coping mechanism for a time, it cannot take the painful memories away. Proverbs 14:13 (ESV) says, “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.”
As a medic, I found the need to maintain a sense of humor for my sanity’s sake. I know many nonmedical people say we are a weird bunch with a twisted sense of humor. The truth is, there are specific tools a person uses to deal with the burdens of the job so it does not consume you before you can find long-term coping solutions. If you don’t have these tools, you won’t last very long when seeing trauma patients. On the other hand, if you have these tools, they will delay the inevitable heaviness that comes with the job.
The look that people give you while having one of the worst experiences of their lives can be petrifying. Some people knew their life would expire in a few short moments. Others, whom some may consider lucky, did not see it coming and were gone before they could have known what happened. Still, others fought hard to keep their hope and body alive and managed to survive, although not without visible and invisible scars. Let’s also not forget those who made it out of imminent danger only to take matters into their own hands because they reached their breaking point.
Over the last week, I have been pondering the depths of despair that war brings. Perhaps it’s the current news cycle–or I’m trying not to forget all those lives lost and loved ones affected by such horrendous events. Regardless of why–I have noticed that, when I try to recall some of the events, some of the faces are blurry as if I have censored them through my own memory to save myself the heartache.
If you have been following this blog for a while, you notice that I deviate from talking about direct leadership topics to PTSD and other mental health issues. Talking about this topic is also a part of leadership that many neglect. Although writing is a coping mechanism for me, I also want to encourage others to find healthy ways to cope with their trauma. It doesn’t have to be combat-related trauma. Many have learned to live with a heavy or broken heart, but I want to encourage you not to stop there.
While these feelings are a reality for me and many others, I also live with hope. I genuinely believe that those who have lived with a heavy heart have so much hope to offer others. As you progress in your healing, share your story with others. Your healing is a personal experience, but your healing experience is a leadership tool that can help others. Many families of this great nation have lost enough. If you can prevent one family from losing someone to something preventable, why wouldn’t you?
~Rey