Investing in Yourself is a Lifelong Process.
What would your answer be if I asked you what was the biggest thing that gets in the way of our own progress and growth? The gut reaction answers would be laziness, lack of motivation, or ambition and/or apathy towards pursuing goals. What would you say if I told you that the biggest thing that gets in our way is not a lack of drive or ambition, but instead it is our own successes that block our progress? This may seem like a typo or a mistake but it is a paradox that exists. In order for us to overcome the success/stagnation paradox, we must first understand it. The success/stagnation paradox is when someone reaches a level of success and because of the benefits the success brings, they become complacent in the development and growth process. This complacency or lack of drive to progress tends to lead to counterproductive patterns in behavior.
This last week was a busy one for me, filled with several different training events all focused on leadership development and how to build stronger and more cohesive teams. The attendees of the various training sessions ranged from individuals fairly new to the organization to those that had spent 20-plus years as a part of the organization. I observed the success/stagnation paradox present at both ends of the spectrum and was curious what might be driving this paradox. I am not sure if I have the “right” answer, but I have a few theories on why this paradox shows up at various stages of one’s career.
To get to a position of power and authority in any organization, it takes a large amount of effort and at times taking the short end of the stick to “earn your keep.” This can be an uncomfortable part of the process and causes a lot of frustration. When someone graduates this phase and moves onto the position of power phase, it feels like the hard work is over and now they get to be the one to simply pile the work onto the next person trying to climb up the ladder. This is usually done because that’s what they had to go through so it’s only fair that the next person should have to experience the same thing. Does this sound familiar? It becomes a vicious cycle where progress is brought to a screeching halt because of a promotion or success rather than continuing to grow and progress (at least for a while). The person coasts and becomes complacent and is content with following the status quo. This is how counterproductive leaders are created and this can happen at any point in someone’s career path. It doesn’t always happen right at the first taste of authority but may be for some. They have put so much time and effort into trying to please others and meet deadlines, that eventually they burn themselves out which leads them to become bitter and hardened.
Whatever the reason may be for the halt in our progression and growth as a leader and honestly as a human, there is always hope for us. It is never too late to invest in ourselves and reignite the fire that got us moving forward at the beginning of our journey. Some may argue that people don’t change or that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.I call BS to that. Those are excuses that people stuck in the success/stagnation phase come up with. Anyone can learn something new, but in order to implement what they learned in their lives becomes a question of willingness.
What I saw this week during my training sessions from most of the people involved was an eagerness and a hunger to be invested in so they can grow and develop as a person and as a leader. In order to feed this hunger and create a culture that promotes growth at all stages of career progression, leaders must be humble and never forget where they started from. This means remembering the hard work, learning, and mistakes it took to get them to where they are now. Remembering the process is just part one to help create a culture that promotes growth. Part two is leaders having the willingness to be vulnerable and share those experiences with those that they lead. This does not mean that we ignore our successes. We should absolutely be proud of our successes and allow them to boost our confidence. We need to remember that it needs to be balanced with a healthy serving of humble pie.
This is a lesson that I’ve been learning myself and at times it has been challenging. Being a dad to three children, two of them being teenage boys, has added more than a few gray hairs to my head. There have been more than a handful of times where I’ve gotten on to my sons about their messy rooms or their lack of effort spent on studying or homework. I’ve had to stop and remind myself that when I was a teenager, I’m sure I was the same way (my parents can and have verified this fact). It took a few failures on my part along the way anda lot of apologies, but I am happy to say that I am a success/stagnation paradox survivor. I learned to humble myself and remind myself that things don’t have to be perfect and they don’t have to always happen on my timeline. Instead, it has become a partnership between my sons and I where if I spot something that seems to be amiss (messy room, clothes that are sitting on the stairs waiting to go up), then I invite them into a conversation about what I’m seeing, what their thoughts are on why it may be an issue, and how we can help each other out in the future to make sure things go better.
This week I ask you to check in on yourself. Are you sitting stagnant in your growth? Are there areas of yourself or your leadership (at home or at work) that could be improved upon? If so, remember there is hope and you can learn and grow if you’re willing. Invest in yourself by reading a new book, listening to a podcast (maybe the newest episode of Always in Pursuit), or have a conversation with those that you lead to hear from their perspective. As I mentioned in the very first episode of the Always in Pursuit podcast, We must Thrive. All it takes is a simple change in order to attempt to get 1% better each day.
-Daren