Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: A Call for Self-care
Well, the inevitable happened. I got sick. I shouldn’t be surprised. I took on too much and broke one of my top rules: practice self-care. For the past few weeks, a string of stomach viruses made its way through our house. The first unfortunate victim was my daughter, then my eldest son, then my wife, then my youngest son, then my daughter again, and finally me. I thought I had cracked the code to avoid the sickness. I thought I had evolved to a new level of human existence where I could take care of my family, still take on my normal load at work with a few additions while I helped co-workers, and still make it to the gym every day. Folks, I was wrong. Let’s use my foolish thinking as a learning point to remember that self-care is vital for us to be able to take care of others and to make sure we are doing alright.
We can think about self-care in a few different ways. These different ways are setting boundaries to have a healthy life balance, practicing healthy habits, and engaging in rejuvenating tasks that refuel your tank. This is not an all-encompassing list of the different ways that we can practice self-care, but these three are very important areas for us to begin to be more deliberate about taking care of ourselves and those that we lead. I say most important here, because recharging our mental, physical, and emotional batteries on a consistent basis helps to keep us healthy, motivated, and resilient to handle the challenges and opportunities life hands us.
Setting boundaries to have a healthy life balance is extremely important to make sure we don’t get burnt out. According to WebMD, burnout is a form of exhaustion caused by feeling swamped. This is usually brought on by extended periods of experiencing high levels of emotional, physical, and mental stress. One of the things that can bring upon burnout is unmanageable workloads. This is why I think it is incredibly important for us to set boundaries when it comes to our work schedules and focusing on work when we are at work, not at home. This is easier said than done and for some positions especially in the military, this is a luxury they are not afforded. I would still argue there are ways to set and uphold boundaries, even in some of these extreme circumstances. One way could be to set a set time to be out of the office. This requires us to better manage our time during the day and to ask ourselves if certain tasks absolutely must be done today or if they can wait until tomorrow. Leaving the office at a reasonable time not only helps with your own boundaries but it also sets the example for everyone else. It used to be seen as a badge of honor to be the latest worker, but those days I hope are quickly fading as we find out more and more about the effects of burnout on our mental health and well-being. Taking leave and encouraging others to take leave is also within the same lines as leaving at a reasonable time. Another way you can set boundaries could be to balance the amount of problems you hear from other people in a day with the amount of good things you hear from them. This could be as simple as asking them before or after they share their problem or concern to also share something that they are currently grateful for or something cool that has happened recently. This can help to fight back against the negativity bias or our natural tendency to only focus on and pay more attention to bad things in life.
The next way we can be more deliberate at practicing self-care is practicing healthy habits. These healthy habits could include conducting physical fitness training during the week, getting the recommended amount of sleep, practicing good hygiene, and eating a healthy diet. In practicing, we should be focusing on taking care of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. This means that doing these tasks should not be stress inducing activities. If going to the gym is not bringing you happiness or relief, then don’t make that your primary source of physical fitness training. Go for a hike or a jog out in nature. The focus should be to boost our mood, positive coping skills, and our confidence in ourselves. We can think about this way of practicing self-care as investing in ourselves to help become the best versions of ourselves to better serve others.
The last way to be more deliberate in our self-care is by engaging in tasks and hobbies that rejuvenate us and refill our tank. Think about the tasks you truly enjoy doing. These are the tasks that bring you joy and usually someone doesn’t have to remind you to do them. For me, it is reading comic books, playing video games, and playing soccer. Often when life gets busy and stressful, the things that bring us joy are the first things to be cut from the schedule because we tell ourselves we don’t have the time to do them. In my opinion, it is during these stressful and busy times that we should be engaging in these tasks to make sure that we take a break from the grind and refuel our spirit to keep driving forward. If you were going to go on a long cross country trip, would you never plan to stop for a bathroom break or to get more gas in your car? Never stopping would be miserable and not sustainable. This is the same concept for ourselves when things get busy and stressful. We need to plan out tactical pauses to find a sense of relief and rejuvenation to make sure we have the stamina and drive to continue on.
This week, let’s focus on making subtle changes to bring self-care more fully to our lives. This is critical for us being able to remain always in pursuit and being able to live our lives on the offense.
-Daren