Get Over Yourself

In 2006 I was a Ranger Squad leader in my prime. Multiple deployments under my belt, on the fast track to promotion SFC and an arrogant SOB. The old 2D Ranger Battalion chow hall was a small one for the 800 man organization; dirty like a bad diner and always smelling like bacon. We loved it. There was something about coming from those cold Northwest mornings to the loud commotion and the smell of breakfast that only cost 1.25$ at the time. It felt like your grandma’s house, kind of gross but made you feel secure and content.  

Every company had their own seating areas, with the CSM’s table right at the exit so he could stop everyone to ask about haircuts and uniforms. It’s funny looking back now. He was seen as the villain, and I doubt that people view me the same way now. The lies we tell ourselves.

Anyway, on this particular morning I made my way through the line and was walking to the table reserved for senior SLs, PSGs and the 1SG. Sitting at the table was 1SG Stover, the Aco 1SG. I remember thinking to myself, “what in the hell was he doing sitting at the Bravo Company table??” He must have saw the disapproving look at my face because as soon I sat down, he said to me: “get over yourself Burke”. I’m sure I grumbled something, not thinking about it again.

Fast forward to our annual Platoon Certification Exercises about a week later, I had just conducted one of the worst urban assaults in the history of the Rangers. Well, that’s at least what the Battalion CSM was screaming at me. We had just completed a new technique that we had learned from another Special operation unit. This technique was the first time I had been in charge of running it. It had been a train wreck; I had let it get away from me and had tried to maintain so much control that I lost control.

Now I was under the scrutiny of the Battalion CSM and two of the 1SGs in the battalion. I was embarrassed, angry, and wanted to punch 1SG Stover as he sat there with a smug look on his face. A mess up like this is not only embarrassing, but during these times and at this unit it usually meant that my ass was about to be OPS NCO in the S3 shop. Lucky for me, I had one of the best 1SGs in the game. 1SG Folino calmed the CSM down and said we would run through it again the following day. It would be flawless.

As we drove back to our compound, I felt like I was on the verge of vomiting the entire time. I had never messed up this bad and tactics was my strong suit. That night I sat down with my trusted friend and Platoon Leader Chad Jenkins. We went over the techniques in depth; talking through every aspect and contingencies, as we knew that they would not just give us a cookie cutter scenario. The entire aim would be to see me fail.

The platoon got about 5 hours of sleep; I didn’t sleep at all which was dangerous as we still had another 48 hours left in the the exercise. This did not matter. If I didn’t get this right, I would be pushing papers for assholes in the S3 shop. So, it was do or die time.

As we drove back to Leschi Town I was on the radio, talking through every piece of the operation with the SLs, PSG and PL. Coordinating with every vehicle so they knew exactly where they needed to go and how to react if something was in their path. As my heart rate climbed and I started to feel the anxiety climb, I remember yelling at myself: “stop”. All of sudden my heart rate slowed, I started to visualize the target and the pieces everyone would play. My calls became crisp and movements methodical and determined. I didn’t know it at the time but I had entered a state of flow.

They threw everything at us, I mean everything. They even had a helicopter crash scenario as we went to exfil. It all went seamlessly. In the After Action Review, they picked us apart, but I could tell it was half-hearted and they just wanted to make me sweat. Afterword’s, the CSM came up to me and said: “the Noose is loose, but it’s still around your neck”.

As we drove back, I knew something was different. I had turned a corner and no longer looked at this as a job. It was a profession, and part of that was to prepare myself mentally and physically; never letting myself and others become complacent.

The next target we went hard; we rolled up on the target. Every squad starburst to their predesignated buildings and secured. From the time we rolled onto the target and secured all the buildings and High value target was a matter of minutes. As we moved to the vehicles, two 1SGs approached me: “Burke that is the best raid I’ve ever seen, I can’t believe how quick this platoon moves” 1SG Folino smiled and then told me to get the fuck out of there before something else happened.

Here’s what happened, I got over myself and realized I could not just wish or hope things would happen perfectly. The preparation, focus and determination mattered. Still does! I did not get fired and two months later when the PSG got injured, I took over the Platoon. Between the new perspective I had and the amazing leaders of that platoon, we became a platoon that was given the hardest missions repeatedly.

The message here is, we all need to be humbled from time to time. At that point in my life the two situations had correlation, I just didn’t realize it until many years later. Some times the best thing that happen is to fail and be humbled, then have someone look at us and say “Get over yourself” !! I’ll always be thankful for that failure, it made me reflect and focus. I entered a new stage in my professional journey.

~Mike