Establishing Connections

Two things that I love: establishing connections and hearing stories.

Recently, I had a soldier that failed to understand the importance of standards – specifically, how someone's general appearance is a projection of themselves, the unit and the Army… but if they're wearing stripes - the NCO Corps.

There’re two options I had where I could have gone with that situation: a finger-in-the-face-ass-chewing followed by the standard “fix yourself or else.”

Second option: “Hey, sarn’t, what do you think I want to talk to you about and why do you think it is important to me?”

Of course, I chose the second option – but what I did *not* expect was the story that would result. It wasn’t a tale of woe about long lines at the barber or a stressful calendar. Instead, it was a conversation about his perception of poor leadership in the unit, general anger at the Army and an attitude coming off of him in waves that screamed “I don’t give a shit.”

Anger and violence crossed my mind – but instead, I chose a learning lesson.

-Terrible leadership does not give you the right to perpetuate it.

- Other soldiers and leaders do not know this story. Frankly, they don’t care. You are giving them an excuse to not maintain a standard.

- What can you control? How you handle bad leadership and more importantly the actions you take to offset this counterproductive trend.

I hear this a lot – “I am not being a good soldier/leader because I have terrible leadership.”

While it can be frustrating and infuriating at times, practice what you preach. Listen to understand, not to respond. Put yourself in their boots. Tell them you understand – and if you don’t tell them you WANT to. I try to share relatable experiences and then end the conversation with two thoughts:

- First, do not perpetuate the trend. In fact, go out of your way to buck it.

- Second, be the leader you wish you had. Lead by example.

I hope this little story helps you this week as we strive to establish connections.

#leadership #motivation #leadershipdevelopment #AlwaysInPursuit #LiveLifeOnTheOffense