Bringing out the Best in Others
Cougar 7 and Troop 1SGs 2019
In a discussion with a mentor of mine, we talked about how as leaders one of our primary functions should be bringing out the best in others. In terms of brevity, it is a great way to describe our roles as leaders. It should be one of our priorities and should be a center point of what we do.
After giving it some thought, I came up with some ways that we are preventing that from occurring. Here are some examples that can take away from bringing out the best in others.
Our ownership of others’ mistakes and the belief that we should never let someone fail. We’ve heard this in books, seminars, and podcasts. As the leader, we are ultimately responsible for everything. I still believe this; however, we must learn to share responsibility. If we don’t, then decisions are made free of consequences and others won’t be as invested into them.
This belief that good leadership is what leaves a legacy of good leaders. I’m not advocating for toxic leadership. However, sometimes when bad leadership exists, others must work twice as hard to make up for it. We must focus our efforts on creating an environment where leader development is more important than results. This can be difficult because a lot of what we do is linked to the results produced. If we focus on the culture of creating good leaders, the results will happen.
Lack of experience is a reason for us to interject our mentorship. When we see a junior leader facing something for the first time, we will step in and offer our years of experience to let them know that we don’t want them to make the same mistakes that we did. While part of this is seeded in wanting the best for others, it also is flawed. The mistakes become some of life's best lessons. They become the foundation that other attributes are built upon. We should be teaching others to think, not what to think. We must allow them to push forward even though their process is flawed. Then, right before it goes over the edge to failure, injecting and offering mentorship can be impactful. In some situations, mistakes need to be made so the lesson stays with them. There is a risk factor here and that’s one of the most important facets of being a leader, assuming risk.
Find a mentor and listen to them. Find a BUNCH of mentors to include one for each dimension of your life. Life is complex and one single person might lack the ability to understand the magnitude of a single compartment of your life. Their advice might be one-sided or your interpretation of the advice will be. Each mentor will offer you multiple sides to the problem, which over time will teach you to look at problems from different angles.
What we must realize is that if we are trying to help someone be the best version of themselves, we will just be a piece of the larger puzzle. We are not the single source of that development, nor will we create this perfect environment for them. They need to seek advice from a myriad of people and make mistakes, including being exposed to the ugly, difficult part of life.
As a leader, this can be a difficult pill to swallow and as a parent, almost impossible. We naturally want to protect people as if they are our own children. What we fail to account for is the fact that part of the reason we are who we are is because of the tough times, maybe even more than because of the good times. However, as a leader or parent, we are there after the fall, free of judgment, offering advice, and providing mentorship and love so they can be a better version of themselves going forward.
~Mike
